Kiss the girl
by Othalla
Summary: Shikamaru might possibly be a little bit of a coward. Good thing Temari will punch him straight. Part 3 of "Nobody ever dies in Uzushio"


While Shikamaru might not be categorised as brave, he feels comfortable enough with the distinction of moderately courageous. By which he means, he can definitely kiss his girlfriend.

He hasn't kissed his girlfriend. She's kinda scary and seems like someone who has kissed lots of people in lots of ways in lots of places and Shikamaru kinda really hasn't even kissed anyone ever. It's a little intimidating. He's not quite sure what to do about it. There was definitely no kissing training done on a peach, though, no matter what foul lies Ino spreads around. Shikamaru isn't quite that desperate. Not to say he won't be in the future, but as of right now, Shikamaru can live with being an inexperienced uncertain virgin with a hot chick for a girlfriend.

"You realize you're being incredibly stupid?" Temari asks him, and yes, Shikamaru does. He's not going to admit to that, though, because Temari is the kind of person who when given an inch doesn't just take a mile but the whole blasted continent. Shikamaru knows better. Now, at least. Before, not do much.

"Hmm?" Shikamaru plays it cool and noncommittally and Temari rewards him by punching him in the arm. She's very violent.

"Dick," Temari says. "She actually really likes you. It's pathetic. She'd live with you slobbering like a dog in her mouth and be happy, it's that gross."

"Wow, way to have faith in me," Shikamaru drawls at her.

"You're the one afraid to kiss your girlfriend. I, at least, have faith that she'll still like you even if you're objectively terrible at kissing, which we'll never know if you do not try."

"Whatever," Shikamaru mutters under his breath as he kicks a pebble in slight frustration. He's rewarded with another punch, lacklustre for Temari but still going to sting like a bitch.

Temari sighs, lowering her hand to rest at her side. They're sitting on the hill that overlooks their biggest deer pen, watching as the herd tends to their new-born. It's very idyllic.

"What are you even afraid of?" Temari asks after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

Shikamaru considers the question, rolling his shoulders back to feel slightly less pathetic when he decides on the answer. "I dunno. Failure?" He's not very used to failing at something he actually wants to be good at. The possibility that he still might sits rather awfully in his stomach.

Temari snorts. "I guess you really didn't practice on that peach, then."

The stinky eye he gives her at that is justified.

"Hey," she says and raises her hands placatingly. "I'm definitely not the one to blame for that one."

Shikamaru knows that, but given the fact that Temari is also around the twentieth person that's _needled_ him about it he's not feeling particularly charitable. Ino should count herself lucky with that timely month long mission she got. Shikamaru will get his revenge.

"Besides, if you haven't frenched a fruit and refuse to break your kissing cherry with your girlfriend like every normal person would, I really don't know how to help you. Not like you can kiss anyone else and get it over with, anyway."

Shikamaru considers if he actually should kiss someone else for all of a millisecond before he dismisses the though. That's not the kind of person he wants to be. He doesn't think Naru would be opposed to it in general, provided that she knew about it and maybe got to watch and participate herself, but Shikamaru definitely would. He's selfish.

He wants her all to himself, and that's the sort of thing that must go both ways.

Temari, because she is not so secretly very good at reading people and also somehow decided that Shikamaru is her best friend, nods. "Precisely. So, buck up and go kiss your girlfriend already."

Shikamaru groans and drags a hand down his face.

"Gods, not even Kankuro was this bad, and he regularly dresses as a cat," Temari not so subtly mutters to herself and Shikamaru sends her a half-hearted glare. She just raises an eyebrow at him, successfully calling out his bullshit, and Shikamaru turns away sullenly.

He's definitely not pouting.

"Who even wants to kiss Kankuro?" he asks after a moment. Not to be rude or anything but Kankuro is pretty weird, even for a shinobi. That he's gotten to kiss someone before Shikamaru, who is very average thank you very much, feels unfair.

Temari still punches him. Violent woman. "Hey, only I'm allowed to diss my brother when he can't hear it," she declares mock seriously.

"Yeah, yeah," Shikamaru says as he runs his hand over shoulder. He's going to be bruised tomorrow, that's for sure. "Gods, I really am being pathetic."

"You really, really are," Temari agrees. Her voice is soft and fond, and Shikamaru is grateful to have her as his friend. She's pretty great.

"Guess I'll just have to chance it and pray I learn fast," he decides. It's not a solid plan, as far as plans go. Then again, no plan he's made yet has survived first contact with an Uzumaki, it's generally considered a fruitless endeavour.

"For what it's worth, I really don't think you're going to disappoint your girlfriend, however those first few kisses end up going."

Shikamaru sends her a grateful look. It might be embarrassing to have his insecurities exposed like this but having them assuaged is worth a lot more than a dented sense of pride. Still, "So, what deep dark secrets weigh on your mind? Fair is fair and I just shared."

Temari snorts. "I'll have you know I kissed my first boy when I was ten and since it was disgusting I punched him. I have nothing weighing on my mind because _I_ deal with my problems head on, unlike some other people I know."

"What a tremendous surprise," Shikamaru says with a fake posh accent.

"Indeed," Temari shoots back, mimicking him perfectly. They both laugh until they cry.

"You really punched him?" Shikamaru asks as he wipes away his tears.

"Hell yeah," Temari says. "The guy had to have eaten a whole bag of raw onions with the way his breath tasted. Gods, it took days for it to go away." She makes a face as she thinks back on it, the disgust written clear as day.

Shikamaru can sympathise.

They both look up at the cawing of a crow, flying overhead and heading south. Temari sighs. "Guess time's up for this week."

Shikamaru grunts in agreement. He'll be sad to see her go. She always returns, though, comes with the job of being Suna's main ambassador in Konoha, so it's not all bad. Besides, for all that he loves her, Temari is very loud, Shikamaru needs a little peace and quiet from time to time in order to not be a complete dick head. Their arrangement works rather splendidly for the moment.

"Hey, what's the name of the dog guy? The Inu-whatever," Temari asks as she rises from her sitting position. She stretches her arms up above her head, popping her back and neck in the process, and Shikamaru doesn't envy her considering what ground she'll be sleeping on the coming two days as she makes her way back to Suna.

"You mean Kiba?" Shikamaru wasn't aware that Temari had ever met Kiba, but he doesn't know who else she could possible mean. "Why do you want to know?"

"Oh, yeah, that's his name." She grins. "No reason, just that he's the one who wants to kiss my brother."

Shikamaru's brain backfires.

"See you next month," Temari says, still grinning widely.

He registers that Temari waves at him in the back of his mind, but when he gathers himself enough to protest she's already too far gone for him to catch her.

"How does that even work?" he shouts after her. Because he really can't see it. Kiba and Kankuro, how did that ever happen? And when for that matter? He has so many questions.

"Fuck me," he says and decides to stop caring all together. He collapses down on his back to stare at the clouds but finds the sky to be almost empty of them, it's unfortunately a sunny day and sunny days are bad for cloud watching. Shikamaru groans and rolls over on his stomach.

It's time for a nap.


End file.
